i was thinking you could have been something

Dear Whoever,

I have realized something. I was sitting there thinking about how he denies it. And it hit me, like a slap on the face, but less violent.

This is my closure. I wrote after the first time a poem called “It’s Not Over”, and it was short, but it made the point of how my soul felt like it needed more. Or wanted…? I don’t know. I never will, but the thing is… this is my closure. This is the last page. After six months, this is my fucking end of the line. Epilogue? No, the last chapter.

After the first time happened, I didn’t know what it was that kept me holding on, but I just knew that something wasn’t right. There was a thread still hanging on. And this last time, it was like the scissors coming to free me. They did too.

I was free. I am free. Now it just seems like… everything is finally done. No more thoughts or memories or flashbacks. And maybe what I needed was to actually remember it. Maybe I needed to do it all over again to realize that I needed it in my memories. I needed clear memories. Is that crazy?

I don’t know. All I know is that it’s over. It’s closed.

I’m closing the lid on this book, because it’s over. The ending has come. No need to make any drama about it.

Thank you God.

-Miranda Jade

(Mood: Relieved)