rapid hope loss

Dear Chelsea,

I’m feeling, quite basically, like shit right now. And in more detailed words, used, abused, neglected, and alone.

I understand that you have certain priorities right now. Whether it be boyfriend, school, family, friends: or family, boyfriend, friends, school, that doesn’t change the fact that this is not working out. I feel myself descending on that list at an increasing alarming rate. When you say you’ll call someone or even more importantly that you’ll care, you need to keep that promise.

Last night I called you scared to death and feeling more alone than ever, and you showed me how much you cared. I wanted to say that that meant something to me, but that would have rendered me utterly vulnerable.

It’s pretty sad when around you (my best friend), I have to have my guard up. I’m sort of scared for the future of our friendship.

I hope that we get this figured out. I hope even more that you change the little part of you that breaks promises. I wish that everything was like that first summer we started hanging out, when we were so obliviously innocent and incredibly stupid. At least we had each other.

Wishing for the best,
Miranda Jade Hadden

(Mood: Depressed, Hopeful)